During family life, a lot of things may cause you to stress out and get angry with your partner. Some of them are so unimportant that you won’t even remember arguing about them after a few hours; others can lead to a break-up or even divorce. What about building a house together? Will it make you stronger or destroy your marriage? In this post, you can find the answer to these questions, as well as tips on how to prevent getting a bigger house from ruining your relationships.
Building a house causes divorce: real reasons behind your break-up
Getting a new house or renovating the old one is a quite positive event itself. Just imagine: you’re about to create a new place of living for your family where you can enjoy your evenings after work, meet with your friends for a barbecue in your backyard, etc. But why does it cause so much hustle in couples?
Most of the time, the conflicts during building a house are connected to different reasons. They range from inner to objective ones:
- the fear of failing to realize your housing dreams. Many couples have unrealistic design wishes or the ones they can’t afford. As a result, when their imagination doesn’t fit the reality, they feel frustrated;
- anxiety and stress due to an unusual project that you decided to get done. Building or even buying a house isn’t likely to be your daily routine unless you are a realtor or construction worker. Since this project is new to you, you have to find out a lot of things before you start realizing it;
- different views on how things should look. The majority of people who start building a house together can’t find a common language on how their new living space should function and look. This is one of the most popular problems of couples;
- financial issues. The limited budget often doesn’t let people realize everything they want. Cases, when people have much less money than they thought on building a house, aren’t rare;
- lack of understanding of legal rules that accompany building or buying real estate. The registration or changing the plan of your house costs money. If people leave that out of their attention, they may end up postponing the moment of moving in due to the need to settle all the legal issues;
- health issues. Lack of sleep, a shifted schedule due to numerous meetings with designers, technical workers, etc. can decrease your well-being, so conflicts caused by tiredness may arise.
How to deal with renovation and save your relationship?
Before you start filing for online divorce Kentucky because of an altercation regarding your new house, we suggest checking a few tips on how to reconcile with your husband or wife:
First of all, don’t rush to blame your partner for anything. If you don’t like the tone of your potential furniture or the balcony design, express it without mentioning your spouse. Don’t say: “Why would you pick such a dull color for those chairs?”. Instead, say something like: “I don’t like the way it looks, let’s pick something lighter/darker”. Talking about your feelings and impressions without putting the responsibility for them on the other person is how adults communicate.
Agree on what you want before getting further.
Express all your wishes and dreams to your wife or husband and agree on something you both will like before you book an appointment with your building company agent. It will help you save time for that meeting, make it productive, and create an image of serious customers who know what they want.
Don’t worry about your disagreements.
Although you’re a family, you cannot agree with your partner on everything. Having alternative views and different visions is okay if you are ready to discuss, cooperate, and find a compromise.
Discuss your house when you’re in the mood for it.
If you’re married for a long time, you probably know that talking about important things when either you or your partner is ill, hungry, or stressed out isn’t productive. Therefore, don’t forget to take care of yourself and your spouse first, and only then proceed to talk about building your house. Your well-being is more important than making a rushed decision that is likely to be wrong.
Take breaks together.
Remember to live your life between choosing the design for your house and meeting with your architect. Go to the gym with your partner, eat out at night, hang out with your friends, and don’t make your life all about building your new house. You have other things to do, so don’t leave them aside.
Before you put up another fight with your partner regarding the color of curtains in your future bedroom, thank them for the enormous effort they put into creating your new home. Being grateful opens new opportunities and contributes to the improvement of relationships in couples, so don’t overlook it.
Remember that being happy is more important than being right.
After all, why would you confront your partner about issues that are meaningless in the long run? You and your partner are together, not against each other in your desire to build or renew your house. Therefore, it’s in your power to concede on something to please your spouse and see them happy, especially when the matter of your discussion isn’t crucial to you.
Now you know how to deal with building a house and staying in a good relationship with your partner, so what are you waiting for? Choose the design and location, and start the great building soon!